Monthly Archives: January 2010

Bears In Hibernation

The names of many professional sports teams have often puzzled me.  Jazz in Utah?  The only Wizards I know of live in fiction books not Washington D.C  And, do to popular belief, Arenas was not petitioning for the team to change back to their old name.

Detroit Lions?  Kittens maybe but not Lions.  Wouldn’t the Lakers be better off as the Oceaners?  I mean there in LA, not Minnesota.

Well, in Chicago the NFL squads name fits them perfectly.  No, not because they are angry, ferocious woodland predators.  More so for what Bears do in late fall and into winter.  Let’s examine, shall we?

Definition per Wiki – Hibernation is a state of inactivity and metabolic depression in animals, characterized by lower body temperature, slower breathing, and lower metabolic rate. Hibernating animals conserve food, especially during winter when food is short, tapping energy reserves, body fat, at a slow rate. It is the animal’s slowed metabolic rate which leads to a reduction in body temperature and not the other way around.

Many Bears hibernate and most from late fall through the winter.  Food is scarce so they store up, find a comfy cave and pass out for several months.

Enter the Chicago Bears.  Some may argue they hibernate from the season opener on but that really isn’t the case.  They usually fall asleep in October sometime and rarely come out of their slumber.  This slumber, the one that causes them to miss the post-season more than make it, effects the staff upstairs as well.

You decide you need to make change so you fire a coordinator and some coaches.  You say how you are going to bring the best guys in to coach both the offense and defense and then ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

Jerry!  Lovie!  Wake up!  Oh crap, that’s right, it is very dangerous to wake up a sleeping bear.  Wait, have people seen these bears?  They don’t seem very dangerous.  Oh well.

In the meantime coaches are dissing the Bears.  They are going to other teams, not showing up for interviews and don’t want to play for a lame duck administration.  Can you blame them?

So, for now, we watch and wait and hope the big, bad Bear wakes up from its slumber.  After all the NFL Draft is in April and, oh, never mind.  I forgot we don’t have any picks in the first two rounds.  I guess they were planning on sleeping in this off-season.

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