Tag Archives: Cedric Benson

Cedric Was No Entertainer

Ced fall down go boom.  Does anyone other than his momma care?  Nope.

Cedric the Entertainer?  Not so much.  Cedric the Under Achiever?  Maybe  Cedric the Selfish?  Probably  Cedric the Asshole?  Definitely

With absolutely no trade value and a closet full of crap the Bears unload Cedric the Asshole.

What will I miss most?  I suppose it is him hanging out with the kickers his rookie year because no one else on the team liked him.  Perhaps it is his pussy performance in Superbowl XLI.  It could also be the dozens of fans screaming for Cedric and saying Thomas Jones is a hack and should step aside.  It might also be his string of alcohol related incidents with the Bears.  Either way he has provided me with a hard drive filled with memories.  

Now, THANK GOD, the Chicago Bears have said, “ENOUGH!”  Was it the problem on the boat?  Maybe  Was it the follow up DUI?  Probably  Was it the 3.4 yards per carry, 10 career TDs and dozens of missed blocking assignments?  YES YES YES

But now I am listening at the water cooler and on the radio and fans are wondering “WHAT NOW?”  You know what?  It doesn’t matter what now because what now is still better than life with Cedric the Asshole. 

What now might be as simple as two words like SHAUN ALEXANDER!!!! 

No one can’t tell me he doesn’t have a couple of more years in the tank.  He is only 31 years of age and has averaged more yards per carry with a hairline fracture in his foot than C the A did when he was healthy.  Shaun is also involved in the community, is a family man and devout Christian.  He sounds like a winner to me. 

What now might be as easy as a phone call to KEVIN JONES! 

He is often injured but better than C the A when healthy.  After all, Jones did rush for over 1,000 yards as a rookie on the Lions.  Yes, the Lions, the crappy team with a crappy line.  He is said to be healthy now and is probably worth a gamble.  The Patriots are looking at him…how bad can he be? 

There are excellent short-term solutions while Forte learns the NFL.  Either of these two backs combined with Matt Forte would make a solid running attack.

So, here’s to Angelo and Phillips who had the balls to cut Cedric the Asshole.  Trust me folks, better days are ahead.

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BYE BYE BUMSON…I mean Benson

After 3 seasons with the Bears Cedric BUMson has averaged 41 yards per game on the ground and 10 rushing TDS.  He has caught 26 passes in 35 games for ZERO TDs.   I have been saying since I first laid eyes on him at Summer Camp that he would be a bust.  I didn’t see the effort, he stood alone most of the time and rarely got physical.  The practices were non-contact to light hitting drills and every chance the Bears defense got they put a helmet on Cedric.  This was telling me a lot.

Cedric came out of Texas and was a speedy bulldozer of a back.  He hit people hard and ran around them if he had to.  Now granted he played in a system built for him to succeed at that level.  He also played behind a bunch of 300+ pound monsters.  He was impressive looking, no doubt.  However if scouts had real conversations with teammates, coaches, family and friends they would discover a different kind of guy. 

He lacked motivation.  He was a guy that didn’t come to play every day.  He didn’t give 100% unless it was his number being called.  A guy who gets busted for marijuana and lets a buddy take the rap.  A guy who criminally trespasses and spends 8 days in jail.  He is a guy who might (speculative) even have some sort of personality disorder.  Not to mention his Wunderlich was not too impressive.  All this and the Chicago Bears take him 4th overall.  I guess based on his college stats alone some team would have taken him in the top 7 or 8 picks anyway.

Cedric has not only been a disappointment on the field but off of it too.   Rarely did he stay visible in the off-season.  You never saw him at Chicago Children’s Hospitals, hanging out at 670 SCORE events or any sort of Chicago Bears sponsored meet-and-greet.  Instead he flees to his mama in Austin, Texas every season.  This coddling and being near his college roots have led to this downward spiral.  Austin is the place Cedric is still someone important.  A place he can still sit around and chat with 50 year old oil drillers about his Doak Walker award.

Instead he should have been in Chicago in the off-season making Chicago his own.  He should have been working out hard and studying as much in the off-season as possible.  With the millions of dollars he has accrude he should have hired some people to help him with his image.  He could have owned this city and the organization literally gave him every opportunity.

Instead he will be looking for employment in the weeks to come.  And for his sake I hope he can turn it around.  I would hate to have to watch a WHERE ARE THEY NOW episode with BUMson working as cart driver at River Place Golf Course in Austin, TX.  To avoid this please take this advice Mr. BUMson.

#1 Enter a drug and alcohol rehab program.  Movie and music stars do it and then they make more money than ever.  Might be a good strategy.

#2 Get some image consulting immediately.  Change your look a little.  Do a lot of charity.  Maybe write a book.

#3 Take pride in the non-sexy things about your position.  Learn to block for Christ’s sake.  Do it like you want to be known for it.  Sell the play action fake is if you actually have the damn football.  This will help your team greatly.  Also, interact with your teammates more.  Be a true member of the team.

Well, that is about it BUMson.  You are at a crossroads in your life.  You are either going to take responsibility and turn it around or I guess I will see you at my next tee time.

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Rex is our Quarterback? Enough Ced!

3 weeks into what was supposed to be a Superbowl run and I am left a little dazed.  Wait, a little dazed doesn’t quite cover it.  How do us Bears fans really feel this morning?  Well, a little bit like that sorority girl that had one too many Appletinis and woke the next morning naked next to the fat, loser kid named Ernie.

On national TV the Bears Defense did all they could for 2 1/2 quarters to keep the team in the game.  They had stifled Tony “I am much better than Rex” Romo through the first half and shut down the running game almost entirely.  All the Bears had to do was establish a few drives, put it in the endzone once and let Robbie “good as” Gould knock down 3 or 4 field goals and we win.  Really, the game could have and should have gone something like this…”Defense, Gould Good Enough In 19-17 Nailbiter”.  All Rex had to do was not turn over the ball, complete half of his passes and have a QB rating of about 70.  All Ced Benson had to do was run for about 80 yards, 4.0 avg and not turn over the ball.  Really, a victory was just that simple.

But it went the other way.  Rex, even though the loss was not entirely his fault, was absolutely brutal.  He made it obvious he doesn’t possess the skills to be a successful Top 10 QB in the NFL.  He gave us another QB rating under 50 and 3 turnovers.  All of this from the kid that was supposed to be the best Bears QB since Sid Luckman.  I now have a feeling Bears fans would take Mike Phipps or Vince Evans over this mental and physical midget. 

Now Grossman isn’t in this alone.  Cedric Benson deserves much of the blame too.  He was the kid from Texas who was supposed to make people forget about other Texas greats like Earl Campbell and Ricky Williams.  The Bears tried to give him the job last season over the often banged up Thomas Jones and he couldn’t take it.  So, the best way to resolve that is to remove the player standing in his way.  Jones, now in NY, led the Jets to an exciting victory over the Miami Dolphins while Benson couldn’t average over 2.9 yards per carry in a brutal loss.  In addition, Benson put the ball on the ground again.  Chicago Bears fans take the running game very seriously and Benson is testing our patience. 

One of the keys to the Bears success in 2006 was they didn’t turn over very much and they took the ball away.  Now the Bears are giving the ball away like turkey at a Thanksgiving food drive.  You can’t expect to win if you keep giving the ball to the other team.  Especially if that other team has players like Tony Romo, Marion Barber and T.O.

An exhausted defense just couldn’t contain this aggressive offense any more as they opened it up in the late 3rd quarter.  The defense has been on the wrong side of the clock for all three games and after a while that wears the defense down.  The Bears of 2006 at least used to move the ball, hold on to the ball and gave the D a chance to rest.  Now they are getting tired AND injured.  This season is shaping up to be a regular Stephan King novel. 

Solutions anyone?  Well, you can always start from scratch like Charle Weis but we know that bascically means the season is over and ours is far from over.  Any other suggestions?  Call better plays?  Well, that is a small part of it.  I am continuely baffled by some of the play calling but that is only a small part of the problem.

My solution to the Bears problem is very simple.  It is like going to the doctor to discover you have painful, fleshy growth on your ass.  The doctor’s will simply, LOP IT OFF!  Ladies and gentlemen of Bears nation, Rex and Ced are growing on our asses and it is getting pretty painful to live with.  Rex and Ced need to go.

Now are Griese or Orton and better than Rex.  We don’t know!  Griese has always been a solid player.  He is a solid game manager and can make most of the throws required of this offense.  Granted, he has never “won the big game” but I guarantee he has never had multiple QB ratings of under 50 in the same season either.  Rex had 5 last season and we went to the Superbowl in spite of him.  Orton, whose rookie performance was shakey at best, won 11 games and took us to a division title.  Even as shakey as he was he only had one game as bad as Rex.  The entire offense lacks confidence in Rex and either guy would be an improvement.  And we can’t wait any longer.  The change should be made now if a Superbowl run is still in the future.  A mid-season change of QBs means the season is pretty much over. 

A removal of the Ced virus from our asses is a little more problematic though.  See, last year we had T.J. to save us.  One back could always fall back onto the other and many successful NFL teams have two good backs.  Do the Chicago Bears?  Once again, we simply don’t know.  Adrian Peterson looked like the real deal in San Diego but now that we have watched two other teams toast the San Diego defense, it doesn’t look all that impressive.  The 3rd back is a kid from NIU that is 5 foot nothing 100 and nothing and has the speed of Devin Hester.  So, what do you do with a Smurf with amazing speed.  You run him on a screen in a sea of 6’5″ blockers and throw the ball to the other team.  Great use of your Smurf.  The running game is a mess and there is currently no solution.  All you can do is bench Ced from the starting lineup but still give him 10 carries a game because the other two won’t be able to carry load.  I think the Eagles reached the Superbowl splitting carries between three backs so there is some hope.

I will keep the faith and hope the defense, special teams and random miracle plays keep us in the hunt for the NFC title.  However, I realize with injuries, poor play and the Packers starting 3-0, things are beginning to look a little bleak.  We simply can’t ride out the Rexperiment any longer.  We can’t give Ced the running back crown in Chicago without earning it.  Dr. Lovie needs to prep the Bears for the operating room and remove the Rex and Ced from our asses.  It can’t hurt…or can it?            

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